Posted by on Mar 7, 2013 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Mastering the Message – Better Communication Better Life

Lisa Meyer Speaker and Author of Quotes for Kids

As my daughter turns 21 it seems like the perfect day to reflect on how we communicate with our children. I can remember long before she could formulate words I would “talk” to her as if she were an adult. As she got a little older I would create ways for her to learn and establish boundaries without the use of the word no. She was taught how to communicate the meaning of the word no respectfully (yes even to me) as I knew that during her lifetime that would be an important skill to have. The notion that she is or could be a princess was not part of my strategic parenting plan. Rather, that she was loved very much and with hard work, commitment and determination she could achieve her goals. I believed in her, and wanted her to feel belonged, worthy and confident which are essential building blocks for any young person’s life.

Communicating with teenagers is not as difficult as it is made up to be, it just takes a little more effort and patience. Long drives in the car harbored the perfect place for us to engage in conversations where I could discover what she was truly thinking and feeling. My goal was to listen closely to what she was saying. Ask good questions, so that I could share my experiences (and fears too) as a resource for us to grow closer together. As she shared stories about her friends, I told her what my dad often told me. Other people will let you down, I am your best friend. This was an important part of our attachment and bonding process. The goal was to make her as independent as possible while assuring her that I will always be there for her no matter what. Throughout our lives together we have both apologized for the wrong things that we have said or done. When the lines of communication were down, we always strived to rebuild our relationship, learn from it and move forward. The other options seemed futile.

We know that strong interpersonal relationships especially the relationships we develop with our children are vital to our well-being regardless of how old we are. Communication is the glue that keeps families together and strengthens our lifelong interpersonal relationships with our children.

Countless times throughout her lifetime, she has heard me say: communication is a beautiful thing! I wonder if she will say those same words to her children. Being her mom is a beautiful thing too.

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